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Kelly Osbourne is going bald. The star has been losing her hair due to frequent dying and has now been forced to wear extensions.I actually think going bald would be a good look for her.The crap she's got on her head right now looks like bleached straw. I love how Kelly Osbourne suddenly thinks she's a debutante. Next she'll be trying to compete in the Miss America pageant.
Pamela Anderson is boycotting this year's Kentucky Derby because of its sponsorship deal with Kentucky Fried Chicken. The fellow PETA activist has been trying to increase awareness surrounding the abuse of chickens in processing plants that supply poultry to KFC. Anderson claims that she doesn't want to support cruelty to animals since KFC practices in "scalding chickens alive for our plate". You mean to tell me they kill those chickens before they sale them? I could have sworn that I had a conversation with my bucket of Original Recipe the other day. Precisely why plastic surgeons shouldn't operate on leprechauns.
Paris Hilton was honored with the title of "Woman of the Year" by the people of Germany.It just puzzled me how Paris continues to allure the weak minded....then again this is the Germans were talking about here........ the same people that like hairy-kneed woman named Helga and have wiener eating contests. Oh wait...wiener eating contests.....okay now I know why they like her. Der haufen wein schitzel Hilton whorehein.
The Bachelor is interstate prostitution. When are they going to pick a bachelor that works at McDonalds? The whores won't be opening their legs for those McNuggets. Score bitches!!!! Line up...who ever fucks the best wins. Thanks to the Raz for helping me with this post.
Okayyy....fuck what I said yesterday. Sienna and Jude are back together. The couple is supposed to attend the London premiere of Sienna's new movie "Casanova" together tomorrow night.If Sienna and Jude were doughnuts, they'd be the ones still sitting on the shelf morning after morning. You know what I'm talking about. The shitty doughnuts with no frosting, sprinkles, or jelly ....possibly made with wheat germ. My point is no one wants either of these two so they are forced to continuously fuck each other and make our lives miserable. Get it? She might be a dumb fuck but she's definitely the girl that you can get to come home with you after the bars close. Again the Raz helped me with this post hence the references to doughnuts and fucking and whatnot.
The Simpson sisters got trashed in Page Six yesterday by photographer David LaChapelle. The sisters and LaChapelle are on the outs after the siblings pulled out of a Rolling Stone cover. "They're nothing. They have nothing. They hold no interest whatsoever for anybody. They're reality-red-carpet, lip-synching television stars," said LaChapelle. "I don't know what they are beyond that. I don't think they offer anything ... I was only doing it because of my relationship with Rolling Stone," LaChapelle ranted. "We were going to try and make the Simpsons look cool. I realize now that is an impossible task." David's pretty insightful but he left out the whole they're a bunch a whores who sleep with their Dad crap.........because you know they sleep with their Dad, right? At least Papa Joe picked a nice picture of Jess for his bedroom wallpaper.
Hilary Duff claims that her man, Joel Madden, would never cheat on her because he no longer drinks. Duff says that the groupie problem only occurred when he wasn't sober so now she feels that she has no need to worry. Poor sweet innocent Hilary Duff. If alcohol was the only thing that made guys fuck then bars would be open 24 hours a day. Her notion makes me want to pat her on the head and say, "Ohhhhh to be 18 again."One day you'll get it Duff.............. probably on the same day you start hanging out with Paris Hiltonand she teaches you that it's okay to blow three guys in one hour. Until then keep floating around in your innocent little world of My Little Ponies and Care Bears.......oh and Jem because she's truly outrageous. I must applaud this picture- Duff's got her mouth closed and Joel appears to have used his Proactiv this morning.
Lindsay Lohan is dating rocker Ryan Adams. Who is she competing with in the race to catch an STD first? Lohan is starting to make Paris Hilton look clean...and by clean I mean not having open scabs on her vagina. I hope that Adams dude double wraps his pecker. I'm guessing the runway kid is her soon-to-be cracked out little brother. I swear that Lohan mother has got her kids making her all kinds of money.
Sienna Miller has finally packed up all of her hobo-wear and moved out of Jude Law's house. The actress hired a moving company to gather her belongings from Law's residence in London. A friend of the star told The Mirror, "She begged Jude to give it one last try, but he has moved on and he thinks it's time that she does, too. She eventually got the message and packed up all her stuff." Got the message? I'm not sure that the jumbo-tron in Yankees stadium displaying Jude having an orgy with ten chicks and a dude would give Sienna the message.Whoever taught Sienna about the birds and the bees forgot to let her in on the secret that you're not supposed to let your boyfriend humpeverything with two legs.....................though I don't think Jude rules out those that don't have any legs. That would be unfair. Apparently she forgot to pack up her bras when she moved out.