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Britney Spears has apparently bought K-Fed his own domain for Christmas, www.kevinfederline.com . I'm not entirely sure if this is his actual website or not but whoever thought this shit up made a master piece. Don't tell me your actually taking care of the kids today? Thanks to Nicole Richie for the link tip
Jessica Simpson filed a petition to request a new judge to proceed over her divorce trial. The motion was filed because Simpson feels that the current judge would not be able to give her a fair and impartial trial. Jess Jess.............Look, it's kinda going to be hard to find a judge that doesn't hate your music or think that The Dukes of Hazard was the worst movie they have ever seen. File requests all you want but I doubt it's going to change anything. Maybe you can bribe the judge with a free sample pack of your Desert line. I personally get turned on when someone smells like a combination of Baskin Robbins and the candy aisle at the grocery store. I hope they both saved those outfits so they can wear them in court.
Scarlett Johansson says that the British Press is boring and dumb. Right..... because you're just the shining god of intelligence and excitement. Apparently the press asked Johansson what she says were pointless questions at her Match Point premiere in London.Hey Scarlett.....although it's common for the American press to mostly be concerned with your cleavage and love life, if the Brits actually want to ask you questions about your acting skills and movie career, I'd try to rattle out an answer that refrains from using the words "duh" and "whatever". If that isn't freshly fucked hair I don't know what is.
Some British magazine is reporting that Victoria Beckham was the Best Man at Elton John and David Furnish's wedding yesterday. Beckham attended the wedding wearing a bright red dress so she wouldn't take away any attention from the marrying couple. Here's a tip I learned by studying the picture below. If you have any pets you may want to lock them up because Posh has taken a fancy to wearing dead animals around her waist. Also if you look closely, you'll see that Posh is fond of Lee Press on nails so if you were still trying to figure out what to get her for Christmas this year that may be a good start. I hate to burst your boob Posh but I think the tanning bed left your chest a little sunburnt.
The latest Simpson rumor goes a little something like this. Every single actress in Hollywood has rejected a deal to star in the next James Bond film, so now they are considering Jessica Simpson for the role. I can't wait for this movie to come out. It's going right on my DVD rack between Gigli and that Mariah Carey Glitter movie. If you didn't know, that's some sort of gang sign for people who get collagen injections in their lips.
Britney Spears is suing US Weekly for reporting that she and Kevin Federline made a sex tape and were worried about it getting released. US Weekly totally deserves this lawsuit. You know that if there was a sex tape, Brit Brit and K-Fed would be thrilled about a release...hell, no one in the family is making any money right now soas long as those two get a cut I don't see anyone complaining. Can't say that this wouldn't be a great DVD cover to the sex tape. Picture snapped up from Santa Banta.
Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani finally consummated their marriage and the bitch got pregnant. At least now we know that Gavin's got good sperm because despite his sixteen year old lovechild, I was certain the cad was shooting blanks. I just hope Gwen dresses that kid somewhat normal........that means no hair bleaching until the kid is at least six. Gee......do you think the kid will be a good singer?
Screw it....... We're not eating at that restaurant. I talked to the hostess and she says we have to order something if we want to sit down. It's total bullshit.....ordering water should count for something.
I'm so bad at linking people yet I love it when other sites link my shit. Here are some bloggers I owe. City Rag wants you to know that Kid Rock is HOT! Gossip and Truth wants you to see Pamela Anderson's pole dance. Hollywood Tuna reveals that the Pussycat Dolls might not be who you think they are. Egotastic reports that the British hate Scarlett Johansson's cleavage. Conversations with Famous People wants to know if Ben and Jen are causing Starbucks to go bankrupt. Love the stupidity
Jessica Simpson is "doing okay" according to People magazine. So basically that means Jess is ready to start dating. Watch out L.A........Jess and her sidekick, Corn on the Cobb, will be partying at Club Mood with Kevin Federline faster then you can say pre-nup. Hey Jess, I'm a bit short on time for finishing up my Holiday shopping list. Can you perhaps send me the Newlywed's Season 2 DVD and about eight copies of that wedding books you wrote.I know a few people that just got married.
Ashley Simpson is doing fine after her recent collapse in Japan. The singer was apparently very distressed over the demise of her sister's marriage. Don't worry Ashlee....I'm sure Nick will still be friends with you....you two can hang out by the fire, roast marshmallows, and listen to old 98 degrees CD's. If you get really lucky, Nick will give you some hair tips or maybe even teach you about fake tanning. You're gonna be HOT Trashlee. You didn't steal my boyfriend in that outfit.
Carmen Electra is thinking of not flying anymore because she is sick of always getting stopped and searched by airport security. Electra claims that she gets patted down frequently and asked if she's carrying any weapons. Gee Carmen... I can't figure out why those people search you either....I wouldn't have anything to do with the words Baywatch or breast implants......... I wonder......? No matter how hard you wish Carmen, Santa cannot bring your career back.