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In an effort to save their marriage, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are vacationing in NYC sans baby. The duo are trying to patch up their rift and felt that going to New York would give them the chance to work things out in private. Great idea gang...New York is just the beacon of privacy. No people or paparazzi in sight. Nothing like having your mother-in-law accompany you to the clubs to keep you in check Kevy-Kev.
Lindsay Lohan is just about as dumb as a rock. Feel free to tell her that you're any celebrity over the phone and she'll believe you. Yeah Lindsay....you look real hardcore wearing a shirt with pineapples all over it.
Jennifer Aniston introduced her boyfriend Vince Vaughn to her best friend Courtney Cox. Aniston wanted to make sure that Cox gave her seal of approval of Vince. At this point I think Courtney would approve of a serial killer if it got Jen to stop whining all the time. I'd love to know what that guy is doing to Courtney's head.......shit he could be murdering her but I don't think Jen and Vince would notice.
Talen's Mom is pissed yo. Not only is her son marrying a skanky whore but Talen stole all the money from her checking account to buy Kimmie the ring. Talen and Kim and are flying to Vegas this weekend to get married. They sent me an invitation but I really don't feel like going. You guys better leave the club soon.......Kim has got to get over to the ice arena to compete in that figure skating competition. And if anyone wants to know Taylor's reaction, please be sure to check out her My Space.
God I am so excited about my wedding this weekend. I cannot wait to marry that hot, skinny, pale white ass of his. Look at those ears......I could just suck on them all night long. Thank god I snagged him away from Christina.
Nice...not only are her boobs back but the silicon is even harder this time around. Thanks to LA at Junk Feud for letting me steal this one.
Here are my fantastic links for you. City Rag thinks Big Gay Al Reynolds is a doll. Popsugar says that Kate Moss is a coke lover. Hey, what about Pepsi? Hollywood Tuna just doesn't believe he used to get all hot over this person. Socialite Life lets us know why Pete Doherty is a moron
Lionel Richie is extremely proud of his daughter Nicole for publishing her first novel. It doesn't matter that the book sucks. Lionel is just happy that his daughters making her own money to buy heroin withinstead of his cash. Ryan Seacrest interviewed her............bet that was exciting. Thanks to Rosiedemario for the sweet pics.
Normally when I wake up with a mean hangover is my day is shot. However after hearing the news that Kim Stewart is engaged to Talen from Laguna Beach, I've miraculously recovered to post this mess. The pair have only been dating for two months but according to a friend, Talen really likes Stewart. Yeah it's always a good idea to get engaged to someone when you really like them......forget about all that love shit. Yeah when I was 18, I bought a big hugh diamond ring once...........from a gumball machine. Picture via People.com who does a great job highlighting shit
Pamela Anderson is dating Sugar Ray frontman and Extra TV co-host, Mark McGrath. The two have been holed up in Pam's Malibu home only leaving for food. Nice........... two people dating that are equally obsessed with their looks and blond highlights.....I give the probability of this one lasting to slim and none. Um...your a nurse...no a doctor...um a slut.
Britney might be forced to help Kevin out in the bedroom because poor K-Fed has broken his hand. It is rumored that the incident happen when Kevin fell off a podium at the popular Spider Club. Come on Kevy Kev, how are you ever going keep trying to seduce Ashley Simpson if you keep ending up in the ER at the end of the night.Foshizzle. Now how is he going to drink his forty and smoke his Newport at the same time?
Thank you to everyone who submitted photos in the "Spackle Lohan's Face" contest. I received thousands of entries and I spent hours mulling over each and every one of them. I was finally able to come up with a winner. Thanks to Jenny for making Lohan look like a combination of Joan Rivers, Posh Spice, and a melted piece of plastic. Before After Now that's a great nose job......its not going to slide off or anything.
Further proof that Kimmy Stew and Talen Poo are together. I wonder if they met Paris and Stavros out later that night so they could exchange STD's. I like your shirt but where are your pants? Photo provided by the JJB
Jude Law and Sienna Miller showed up at a Hollywood premiere together. Upon being asked about their relationship, Miller said that she and Jude are working it out. Guess they want to work out the kinks in their relationship.Oh wait no, I meant get Sienna to be more kinky and have threesomes with Kate Moss. Yeah that's it. This makes sense.
Kim Stewart has broken up with her boyfriend Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild fame. She must be rebounding hard because she has decided to turn her attention to Talen of Laguna Beach, a fresh high school grad at only 18.Yeah.....going from a guy that almost makes porn to a rich high schooler is pretty much Kimmie Stews style. Maybe next week she can start dating a male stripper. Look gang, it's a make your own dress like the kind you buy at a fabric store.
I know I know....I lost $20 bucks on this one. I picked Nicky Hilton with Paris Latsis and Brandon Davis with Kim Stewart but maybe I'll do better in the next go round. I believe that's set to go next week sometime. Anyways..... Brandon and Nicky made out at a fashion show. Blah. The Greaseheirs. Photo via The Bosh
Spank my monkey bitch. Paris Hilton has traded in her dog for a pet monkey. Ms.Hilton has been bringing the animal with her everywhere she goes including the racy Agent Provacateur lingerie store. Hmmm.....yeah that will probably be kinky enough for her.............have fun in the fitting rooms. Oh PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let that thing have rabies.
Mind me while I get my spackle out and try to patch up Lohan's face. ......and if anyone is interested in creatively photo-shopping this picture and sending it to me, send away bitches.
Michael Jackson got caught applying makeup in a ladies restroom in Dubai. Boring......doesn't he do that everyday? He steals my freaking Maybeline all the time. Michael ran out of the bathroom after he was recognized and his security guards led him away.Normally if a dude's in a women's bathroom you worry about being attacked. With this case, you just worry if Michael's going to steal your lipstick or not. While I have no pictures of Michael in the bathroom, my friends over at Cat.lebrity have whipped something up for your enjoyment. I bet they're real. Picture found on this smashing website.
Jessica Simpson thinks her sister Ashlee is dumb. Nice job Sherlock.......... now if we can get you to say that your dad is gross, I'll give you a cookie. Hey Jess, it's really easy to turn that thing on. See the button that says "On".
Katie Holmes is giving up acting to raise her baby. Holmes and her fiance, Tom Cruise, decided that it would be the best thing for the baby if Holmes stayed at home to raise the child. Hell no, pass that thing off to a nanny........it's the only hope it has.I sure am going to miss Holmes sweet acting skills....what movies has she been in again? Oh yeah the ones that suck. What the hell? End the soccer season already.
I hope Stavros has been wearing a condom, because Paris Hilton wants to have a baby. Well I hope Stavros is wearing a condom anyways because herpes hurts like a bitch. Don't ask me how I know this. Woohoo......the excitement from these two is just killing me.
I can't believe I'm actually going to get my Monday nights back. The season finale of Laguna Beach is on commercial free tonight. The gang heads of to college (acting classes) and is forced to face the real world. Right................the real world of partying in Hollywood, car crashes with Paris Hilton, and record deals. Can someone please get pregnant on the next season? Random Fun Fact #271- Casey's step-dad invented the frozen burrito. Oh yeah well my step-dad inventedthe frozen banana, so take that you hooker!
I love it when homeless people have babies. Okay okay okay...congrats to Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams for having a baby and being well..... non-Hollywood about it.
No no no Jude..........that's not how you throw a gangster sign. Well maybe in his world that's some type of strange love sign for the help. Picture via Hollywood Rag
Britney Spears is denying that she went under the knife. The pop princess is furious that the press keeps claiming that she had a tummy tuck after the birth of her baby. Ofcourse she didn't have a tummy tuck people..........Kevin spent all that cash on trucker hats and cigarettes. Brit's had to settle for getting back into shape using my old Jazzercise tapes.For real! You got any M&M's in there? Can we go to KFC now?
Nicole Richie might be joining the cast of the OC. Well if I wasn't thinking of not watching the show anymore, I definitely am now. According to the paparazzi, one of Nicole's friends died............must have been her dealer.
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