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Animal rights groups are attacking Paris Hilton for trading in her dog, Tinkerbell, for a smaller model. Hilton recently got a new puppy named Bambi, because she felt Tinkerbell had gotten to big in size. Hmm..dog too big, ring too big. Rick Solomon made you stop liking BIG things, right? Somebody hire a stylist, Paris Latsis is blind in one eye.
Sienna Miller has finally dumped Jude Law and his small penis. The actress tried to make a second go at their relationship, but realizes that she could never trust Jude again.....or be able to hire a babysitter. Clap because this mess is over with.
Only hours after people spotted Sienna Miller and Jude Law happily leaving a London restaurant, Miller was seen sobbing outside of Law's home. Reps for the couple say that Sienna was only upset because of the paparazzi's harassment......and because he slept with the nanny. You people seem to keep forgetting, he screwed the fat nanny! And to think all this time she was actually crying over the size of Jude's penis.
So like last night I met this guy and he took me to his house and..... Huh....how the hell do I get off this balcony? .........and then the doctor made this boob a little bigger then the other one and....... .....and the doctor left a big scar around my nipple but hopefully it will go away and.... The drinks here are free right?
Are Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen back together? Richards is now wearing her engagement ring again. Not to worry, it's just advertising for when she sells it on e-bay. The strippers are here!! The strippers are here!!! But where is Charlie Sheen? Oh wait, he likes prostitutes.
Paris Hilton is so famous she can't go anywhere without people recognizing her. The socialite had a makeup artist work on her for three hours to be unrecognizable so she could take her brothers to Disneyland. Doesn't Paris normally need three hours of makeup? Did you glue that potholder to your dress or is it sewn on?
Everyone can now view Jude Law's penis and you don't even have to sleep with him. The lurking paparazzi, captioned the actor butt naked, outside his mother's home in France. Jude's mom must have a nanny working for her. Forget the dog house, Jude is through the roof. Damn I'm getting cheesy.
Sienna Miller is taking Jude Law to her sister's wedding. Law is excited to prove to Sienna's family that he still loves her. Just because you still love her doesn't mean that you didn't bang the fat nanny. Sienna- horny and pissed.
Tommy Lee is PETA's new spokesman. He is also staring in his own reality show this fall, where he goes back to college. Good...even more reasons to make fun of Tommy Lee. Bring on the entertainment. I can almost see your peeper. Pam gets a "Roast" and you got a poster. Pam wins.
P.Diddy is changing his name again. The mogul will now be called Diddy because its easier to chant. Idiot is easy to chant too, so let's call you that. P.Diddy goes through names like I go through underwear.
Katie is making more bold brash statements. Holmes tells Heat magazine that Tom Cruise is her hero.Bugs Bunny is my hero.....and so is Big Bird. Oh yeah and so is Michael Jackson. Oopps...did I post a picture of her and Chris Klein? Oh well same difference.
Here is your daily "Kiki Bump-o-Meter" report. Nope, no pregnancy bump yet. I'm telling you, she bought those prenatal vitamins to help her get a better tan.
Mariah Carey wants Enimem to stop playing the voice mail messages from her at his concerts. Carey is extremely upset and is considering filing a lawsuit against him. The rapper plays a tape in which Mariah asks him why he doesn't call her anymore.Well Mariah, why don't you call him anymore and why did you ever call him in the first place? Me and Marrrrriah...go back like babies and pacifers...Damn I hated that song.
Okay no, she fell off a horse.....how boring. Madonna was riding a horse on her England estate, when she fell injuring herself. The singer broke her collarbone and hand, but was released from the hospital earlier today.Madonna will remain out of the public eye to heal and hopefully she'll drop the whole Kabbalah thing since that shit doesn't work. Were you wearing your red bracelet on the horse? I bet you were........ Hope you like those sweats because you'll be wearing them for the next couple months.
The release date of Nicole Richie's film "Kids in America", has been moved so it doesn't conflict with Paris Hilton's movie. The film will now come out earlier to avoid any unwanted competition. Hmmm.....right.... because both films are going to be such blockbusters.............yeah, its called "crappy movies go straight to video". Hmmm.....she almost looks kinda cute here. No...no..smack me. I had a brain lapse for a moment.
Well.......is she? I don't have an article and I have no information. All I got is these pics of Kirsten and Jake buying prenatal vitamins. I know nothing and yes I am asking for help. What do you think I live in Hollywood or something? I'm in the f-ing Midwest and most of this shit gets to us like 8 days later anyways. It's too late to shop for condoms. Get the Flintstone's kind.
Her name was Mr.Ed. I don't know who these girls are......The Spice Girls?, Nsync?....bet they are as easy as cheese whiz. I thought you couldn't weigh more then 90 pounds to get in? Meet the new lead singer of the Wu-Tang Clan. Andy Dick and his boyfriend. Son... I meant son. Victoria Gotti or Tara Reid in ten years?
Ryan Seacrest has just signed a contract with ABC to host"Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve". Seacrest will be taking over the reigns for the never aging Dick Clark. Clark suffered from a stroke last year but will still help Seacrest out with hosting duties.................and give him use of his plastic surgeon. "Seacrest Out" and in a Superman T-shirt.
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