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I should probably be a bit more sympathetic about this but since it's Mischa Barton we are talking about here, I'm not feeling particularly nice. Seems little Miss Barton appears to be riding the crimson wave this week and the grocery store ran out of feminine products.Horrors! Maybe it's a punishment from the fashion gods since you are not supposed to wear white after Labor Day.
Enjoy your weekend bitches. As a tribute to Lindsay and Nicole, I have decided to refrain from eating all weekend.I should be around to blog tomorrow as well................that is if I don't pass out. Nah..I'll let myself eat mints and ice chips. Maybe they'd smile if they ate something.
The British police are demanding that Kate Moss return to England to answer questions regarding her coke use. They must not have T.V's over in Britain because after watching Kate's coke video, I think any questions get summed up pretty quickly. Oh hell they probably just want to ask if they can buy some off her. Can you hear me now? Good.......I want a kilo of Coke delivered to my hotel.
Lohan was released from the hospital yesterday. She is now free tolet Jared Leto know that she's pregnant with his baby. Way to emphasize your freckles toilet bowl queen. Picture found at Vanity Fair
Here are the stories that I forgot to cover today. Popsugar says forget getting pregnant, J.Lo already as a kid. Tabloid Whore says that Jen Aniston had to find out about Angelina's pregnancy the hard way. Hollywood Tuna thinks Patrick Swayze can rap. D-listed watched Nick Carter and Bai Ling have sex. Gabsmash shows us how Christina Aguilera is copying Jessica Simpson. Too bad Britney thinks an AK47 is some hot new fashion brand.
Yawn. Denise Richards is forging ahead with divorce proceedings, ending her brief reconciliation with Charlie Sheen.The actress is now free to date Nick Lachey. WhooooHooooooo! Yup I've got nothing better then that. Their relationship is about as boring as all her movies.
Mira Sorvino is pregnant with her second child from husband Chris Backus. Most of you probably don't know who the hell Chris Backus is and I had no idea who the dumb fuck was either. Apparently he's not so dumb because Chris is a twenty-four year old former waiter who managed to snag some Hollywood ass.The situation was probably pretty hot for him for a minute but two pregnancies later makes that pre-nup start to look awfully good. Who the hell wants a kid at twenty-four in Hollywood? Well besides Britney Spears. It's an ice cream cone people! Man you're a total bunch of sickos.
Lindsay Lohan is telling all to Vanity Fair this month as she reveals her battle with bulimia. The star claims her drastic weight loss last year was due to her eating disorder and as well as a brief dabble with drugs. Lohan says she realized things were out of control when SNL executive producer Lorne Michaels, sat her down for an intervention. Yeah things are out of control when your family and friends don't sit you down but the old guy who writes crap skitsfora show people stopped watching ten years ago tells you that you have a puke problem.This bitch never ceases to fascinate me. Gee I think I like you with the spray-on-tan better.
I don't know who told her that hetro guys were the boogie men but Renee needs to stop hitting on all the gay dudes in the world. They just don't turn straight when you snap your fingers despite what Kenny told you.
Someone emailedme the other day to ask why I haven't reported on Angelina Jolie being pregnant. Besides the fact that A- it's boring, B- who cares and C- don't you want to only hear about what Lohan ate for dinner?....... news about Angelina and Brad just doesn't excite me......and did I mention it's boring? Oh to please my dear fans. Here goes....... Angelina and Brad are dating and Angelina apparently has a tummy bump. This would make us presume that perhaps Angelina Jolie is pregnant and perhaps Brad Pitt is the impregnator and perhaps a baby will make...five? wait include the motorcycle and airplane- seven. So there you have it, the Pitt-Jolies are pregnant. Don't ask me to do that again, it was freaking exhausting. You can just tell that Maddox's is the class bully and steals the other kid's lunch money. That bulldog shirt is totally fierce.
Britney Spears had better hope she has a large ass because K-Fed is singing about one in his new single PopoZao. PopoZao means "big butt" in Portuguese and "I spend all of my wife's money" in English, just to clear up any confusion. Several other gossip blogs have posted the lyrics on their site and have attempted to translate the nonsense. I translated the crap as well and this is what I came up with.... PopoZao is Popopoop. Just because you're drinking your Boone's Farm out of a champagne glass instead of a paper bag doesn't make you high class. Picture provided by Kevin Federline's MySpace. Believe that!
If I didn't entertain you enough today, here are the whores that will. Junk Feud is back! There better be a Butts of the Week post soon. Popsugar has the dirt on why Starvos the Greek got denied in Vegas. D-listed thinks Fran Descher is Hot.......at least somebody does. Socialite Life reports that Vanessa Williams has decided to rob the cradle. City Rag just rocks in general. and the best news of all........... My FAVORITE blogger Conversations with Famous People has decided to keep her site going and never stop blogging. Yes that's Star Jones and Yes she's man humping her husband.
Lindsay Lohan was rushed to the emergency room Monday night in Miami after suffering a severe asthma attack. Bitch that's what happens when you smoke 2 packs of cigarettes a day. Oh and the coke probably isn't helping either. Typically illegal narcotics don't induce asthma attacks but hey it's fun to throw that one in there too. While she's in the hospital someone should hook her up to and IV of cheeseburgers and beef jerky. I don't regularly pick up prostitutes but this would still confuse the hell out of me.
Maybe Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn aren't going to live happily ever after. Rumorednothing more to be arebound romance, Jen Aniston isn't taking the relationship very seriously and plans to end the union soon. Aniston wants to find her one true lovethat she will spend the rest of her life with. Hey....I suggest you get on a boat and move to China because chances of true love in Hollywood are like chances of K-Fed's changing a diaper. Perhaps it's not wise for Vince to drink alcohol that early in the morning.
Below is a lovely little pic of my best friend Britney Spears and her baby SPF. Brit Brit continues to taunt us with the news that she's ready for baby number two. Can't you just get a dog or something? Ya'lls cute until K.Fed cornrows the kid's hair.
Apparently you're not anyone unless you are at the beach this week. Young Hollywood has flocked to warm weather destinations to frolic in the sun. I personally am enjoying the new year by laying out at the local community pool in 30 degree partly cloudy weather. So what if the pool has no water in it....the view of stray animals and garbage cans are breathtaking. Paris and gang could only wish they were here. My mom called...she's wants her beach cover up back. Mischa looks confused. She's probably wondering why her boyfriend is making out with her little sister. A porn shoot by the beach? Lohan wouldn't want to wreck her $300 trip to the spray-a-tan booth so she borrowed a hat from J.Lo to block the sun's evil rays. Idiots....can't you at least fill my glass up to the top? The help here blows........where the hell did I put my cigarettes?
Britney Spears is quickly losing her popularity. The star is predicted to be the biggest loser in 2006. That's a pretty nice title considering the subject. Biggest loser in 06 is nothing compared to best trailer park date or biggest mom slut. We'll just have to give her a little more time. Now that she has a young child, Britney Spears has decided to stop prostituting on the street corner and work the playground angle.
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