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Britney Spears has kicked Kevin Federline out of their home again.......................and in other news...... the sky is blue and there are seven days in the week. Enjoy the pack of smokes and the case of beer that K-Fed bought you for your special day.
Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are finally parents to a baby girl. No news is given on the weight, length, or name of the baby, however Ben has announced that the child is a natural at poker and that her favorite Starbucks drink is the Mocha Frappuccino. Shit..... did someone run off with her Starbucks? If you would like to see Jen's litter, please check out Cat.lebrity
Rumor has it that Paris Hilton has just gotten engaged to Stavros Niarchos. Rumor also has it that Hilton's lifetime supply of Valtrex is running out and that doctors are worried that if she continues to pass around her herpes, eventually the entire male species may get wiped out. Does the watch come with a fake engagement ring as well?
Sienna Miller wants this year to be over with so she can move on with her life. The star states that this year has been tumultuous and that she would like to get away from the constant barrage of the paparazzi. I don't know Sienna......the paparazzi really likes stupid people and currently you have the top spot on my idiot list. If anyone has any extra anti-depressants laying around their house, please overnight them to Sienna.
Lindsay Lohan's new album is a little more personal then her last one.................but don't worry.......it still blows like the last one. Looks like self tanner isn't allowed on her movie set. The withdrawl symptoms must be horrible.
.....and if that was the case you know that the bitch would high tail it to the 90210 abortion clinic but unfortunately we're talking about Tori Spelling here so she's just thrilled that someone's man-sperm entered her body. Spelling is supposedly pregnant with her Canadian lover, Dean McDermott's baby. And considering the fact that she's not even divorced yet, her soon to be ex-husband has even more ammo to pistol whip that bitch in court. Money is nice, Spelling money nicer. Yeah I can see the resemblance.
I totally need more traffic on this site to keep my motivation going so if you like me, tell all your friends................and if you don't like me....tell all your friends anyways. Your friends are way cooler then you anyhow. Dude who cares that he can't match....that shit doesn't matter when he's naked.
Guy Richie hates his wife Madonna's new album, Confessions on a Dance Floor.The singer admits that when her husband listened to it he thought it was shit. Yeah Guy .........and your movie Swept Away was totally not shit. Mmm right............ Madonna: What the hell did you do with my spandex, Guy? Guy: It's umm... in the wash.
Lindsay Lohan is moving on after being dumped by Jared Leto. The star apparently was seen canoodling with Johnny Knoxville at the Chateau Marmont in LA. Okay random......he's not in the sick incestuous dating quadrangle. That totally screws up the pool. Oh well.. I suppose it's time to add some new additions now that Jessica and Nick can get tossed in the mix. I've got $20 on Simpson and Leto.
Who knew that giving the peace sign would bring on such severe constipation.
Charlotte Church is extremely worried about her mother after she was rushed to the hospital on a drug overdose. The singer however, showed no signs of stress while performing at a live show in London......................probably because of all that valium she took. When did Charlotte Church turn 40?
Paris Hilton is on the verge of a nervous breakdown because the police recently confiscated her monkey. Now I know what your next question is going to be...... which one?...... unfortunately it's the furry pet she's been dragging around everywhere with her. No no no not the Greek guy......Baby Luv the animal. Goodness that was confusing. What..no bag over your head today Stavros.
Nick Lachey will play a Newlywed again on T.V., only this one might have a better chance of lasting. Lachey will star in a new WB sitcom in which he'll play a newly married baseball star.The pilot for the show will be shot next April and will hopefully get picked up in the network's fall lineup......................................not if Papa Joe has anything to say about it. Just in case you were all wondering............ Jessica wants you to know that she is no longer wearing her ring.
Lindsay Lohan has become addicted to getting all different types of tattoo's. The young star recently got a new tattoo and had to consult her grandmother about it. Do you consult your grandmother about all your coke binges as well? Ooo Hohan.....so smart and crafty...please teach me how to be as clever as you.
So Thanksgiving came and went and Jen's turkey still didn't come out of the oven. That kid is going to be three by the time she gives birth. Maybe if you stop drinking all that Starbucks you'll have the damn kid.
If you need some painkillers, make sure you call Madonna because apparently she's likes to dabble as a pharmacist on the side. The signer has more painkillers in her medicine cabinet then Russ Limbaugh and Liza Minelli combined but swears she never takes any of the drugs. Madonna explains that she has a fondness for collecting the pills but doesn't like using them because she's a control freak.Yeah I hate painkillers too. There's nothing worse then popping a few vicodin and chugging a beer before you hit the clubs on a Friday night.Horrible. Don't mind Madonna............a mid-life crisis can happen to all of us. Picture via Hollywood Rag
Jessica Simpson left her family in Texas on Friday and flew to Cincinnati to see Nick. Hey publicity stunt, I'm over it. Jessica: Oh Nick! The cameras are here!!!Smile! Nick: Bitch get in the car. Update: Apparently ONTD lied and these are old pics. I knew she wouldn't be caught dead using that tonto purse twice. Oh well. Thanks to everyone who pointed this shit out.