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The coke party is over for Kate Moss. The drugged out model will hit the sunny Arizona desert to stay at The Meadows rehab center. The rehab center has been frequented by many celebrities including Whitney Houston........which means this rehab center probably let's you drink and snort inside. Kate: What?!!!Someone's doing lines of coke and they didn't offer me any. That's not fair!!!!
US Weekly and PerezHilton.com are reporting that Paris Hilton has finally announced that her relationship with Paris2 is over. Paris claims it was her decision to end things and that it is a painful and emotional time for her......... painful and emotional because you don't have that huge rock anymore. Goodbye Ring. Awwww.....maybe if you beg he'll let you keep it.
Tara Reid blames the media for making her out to be a drunk..........because the media holds your head back everynight and pours drinks down your throat. A magazine's 5 makeup artists, 3 hairdressers,and two stylists, still can't make Tara Reid not look like a slut.
The E! Channel mysteriously forgot to renew Star Jones's "Award Show Special" contract. Jones says she is looking forward to the extra time so she can focus on "The View" and her upcoming book Shine: A Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Journey to Finding Love. I think she should name the book It doesn't matter if he was gay in the past, as long as he tries to be straight now. Well her husband's not giving her any ass so at least she's getting a little tongue from something.
Star Magazine is reporting that Gwyneth Paltrow is pregnant. The actress and her husband, Chris Martin, already have one child, Apple. No word yet on when the due date is, however Paltrow plans to name her second child, Pie. I wonder what their kids would look like?
Lindsay Lohan will appear naked on the cover of an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair. Many say that Lohan was inspired by Paris Hilton's topless cover....and I was inspired to stop buying Vanity Fair. No one told me the circus was coming to town.
The skinny girls just want their boobs back. First it was Lohan and now Nicole Richie has hopped on the boobwagon. Richie misses her tits but refuses to consider implants..... That's because implants would weigh her down and cause her to fall over. I hope that kitten pees on her.
Since divorce in Hollywood appears to be the new cocaine, I figured I'd do a little tribute acknowledging the recent celeb breakups. May all their second and third marriages, end in divorce even quicker then the first. The Sophia/Chad split-the "everyone told me you fucked Paris Hilton but it took me five months to believe it" divorce. The Jenny McCarthy/That guy she married split- the "you were the hot girl on MTV at the time" divorce. The Kathie Griffin/Matt Moline split- the "I was deaf and blind when I married you" divorce. The Tori Spelling/what's his name again split-The "I only married you for your money" divorce. The Renee Zellweger/Kenny Chesney split- The "we want different things (kids, gay men)" divorce. The AJ/Jamie-Lynn split-The "Shit..I married someone dumber then me" divorce. The Jessica/Nick split....oh wait they are not divorced yet. I'll put them on next months tribute.
Drew Barrymore is improving herself with age. Drew says that turning thirty allowed her to realize that exercise is the way to go and low-carb diets are bad for you. The actress says that she took up running and can eat whatever she wants and not gain weight. Are you sure your not on the Lohan/Richie diet?No nevermind...you went through that phase when you were ten. I couldn't believe it either....someone with a bigger head then Drew Barrymore.
Jen: I looked at your cell phone Ben. I saw that you called HER! Ben: Jen I swear.. I didn't. I didn't call J.Lo. Jen: J.Lo? I was talking about Gwyneth! Ben: Oh shit yeah I called her again. Jen: Again??!!! #@$%&#!!!
Old man Trump and wife Melania are having a baby. His kids must be so pissed off......that's less inheritance for them.How did he get her knocked up anyhow? His shit's supposed to be dried up. Now if I was going to wear a squirrel on top of my head, I would at least make sure to kill it first.
Bitches everywhere are defending Kate Moss. Now Kim Stewart or dirty hoebox, as I like to call her, is trying to come to Kate's rescue. Stewart thinks its a "bummer" that Moss got caught snorting and admits that drugs are a big problem in the modeling industry. How would you know Kim? The other models don't talk to you. Whoa...Kimmie Stew woke up this morning and finally figured out what shampoo is.
Christina Aguilera knows how to party. The singer had a wild bacherolette party weekend in Mexico filled with wedding veils and lacey garters. Aguilera is set to marry music exec, Jordan Bratman.........for like 6 months and then they will get divorced like every other couple I have reported about this week. I'll show you mine if you show me yours.
Naomi Campbell is defending Kate Moss for her recent drug scandal....... and that's going to help you BIG because that's like having Mary Kate defend Lohan for not eating or Star Jones defending Renee Zellweger for marrying a gay guy. Naomi Campbell blows more coke then an entire Columbian city. Coke's not bad for you, it just makes you a little messed up.
Apparently the British press did not appreciate what Sienna wore to her sister's wedding over the weekend. Miller wore a dress with a tassled suede vest over top and a rose in her hair. Let's not worry about Sienna's state of fashion and applaud her for not bringing Jude to the wedding......snorting those smart pills by the dozen. Clearly the Brits had no news going on if they had to talk nonstop about this outfit.
Well this one is a real shocker.........Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush have split. Damn bitch got smart and finally wised up to the fact that Chad screwed Paris Hilton....it just took her awhile to figure it out. I mean even I knew about it and I'm normally last on Paris's list of phone calls. She's cute, he's stoned and it's dunzo.
Just in case there was anymore doubts, Britney Spears did in fact give birth to a baby and not a bag of Cheetos as previously thought. Below are pics of what appears to be Britney holding her little bundle of joy. Well at least it looks like a baby but maybe it is just a bundle of Starbucks. Hmmmm........... Oh baby baby...how was I supposed to know...... Shit ma my arms a tired...you carry the little shit now. You mean you havfs to feeds it every two hours! Man.. I never would ev gots pregnant if I'ds have know that!
What would celebrities do without their beloved Koi restaurant? Every damn weekend celebs run to Koi as if the food is going to get rid of their cellulite or something.What if I decide burn down Koi? Then celebs would be forced to go to places that I have to frequent like White Castle. It's not going to be so great getting your picture taken outside of White Castle is it? Maybe Hohan or the Olsen sluts will step it up and make White Castle cool and trendy. Anyways....here is your Koi fix. Simpson and her sidekick go to Koi to pick up men. Yeah Eddie, eat at Koi now because you won't be able to afford it after your divorce is final. Tara Reid can't actually get into Koi...she just hangs out in the parking lot. Oh...maybe we don't want to go to Koi. OJ Simpson dines there...watch out! Hot bitches like Lockler eat at Koi. . Here's a random one. Chris Kattan goes to Koi.Maybe to get a job. Jesse Metcalfe and a "friend" dine at Koi.Hmmm...... Paris2 and Rainbow Brite leave Koi. When are they not at Koi? Mischa Barton- the original Koi slut. We hear the water there is great because that's all Richie has every dined on there.
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