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Madonna recently went to Japan to promote her new album Confessions on a Dance Floor. Madonna reveals that she loves Japan because of the fashion, food and most of all the heated toilets seats. Ahh...I do too miss my days in Japan.. waking up every morning to go to the bathroom only to burn my ass while taking a crap. It's just a perfect start to your day as you walk around the crowded streets of Toyko with your ass cheeks covered in blisters. Ofcourse I'm not the one slipping into a spandex leotard afterwards........... but Madonna's just kinky like that. Menopause is terrible..............you forget to put on your pants all the time.
You know that girl with the overbite that hangs out with Matt Damon? Well he got her pregnant. The girl went from bartender to set for life in no time. I've gotta get me some overbite and I'll be dating George Clooney faster then you can say golddigger. Let's hope the kid doesn't get her mouth. Photo provided by D-listed.
I have always wanted to be a publicist so when somebody contacts me to give some press to a celebrity, I say hey what the hell. Jamie Foxx is releasing an album on Dec 20th. It's going to be hot and no he did not let Kevin Federline sing back up. Hey man........ it's an award not your first born child.
I apologize for the late crappy posts today. My DSL is a piece of shit. Who knows if it will work tomorrow so cross your freaking fingers. Why don't you just hide inside your damn purse.....you'll totally fit.
Mary Kate Olsen dishes all in the upcoming issue of W magazine which features the twin star on the cover. MK says that she still loves Stavros and that she was still dating him when Paris shook her crotch at the Greek and stole him away. Mary Kate confirms that she was so upset she dropped out of school, moved to L.A.and drank four Starbucks drinks a day. I'm confused............only four a day? Wow......a little makeup and a hairbrush makes MK look less like a Fraggle and more like a whore.
Paris Hilton was voted the sexiest celebrity of 2005 by an entertainment website. My only guess is that Kathy Hilton must have an entertainment website. I like how Paris wears enough makeup to supply the entire Miss America pageant but covering up that hickey?......totally out of the question.
Kevin, Britney and baby are reportedly all back together in their Malibu home. It had been previously reported that Britney had kicked Kevin out of their home and that the two were getting a divorce.Hey I never said the bitch was smart. Yeah maybe you can be Lucky's new spokeperson.
Nicole Richie and DJ AM have called off their engagement. Rumors are flying that DJ AM ended the romance due to Nicole's weight problems and drug abuse. I think it's because Nicole couldn't fit into her wedding dress but hey what the hell do I know. Nicole's been in the incestuous love quadtangle for two minutes and I hear she's hot for Nick Lachey.
So I have a friend who knows a friend who knows this dude (this is going to be totally reliable) who went to a Christmas party in Cincinnati where Jessica Simpson was hired to sing.Some rich business guy hired her and since you know money is going to be tight soon....... Jessica agreed to fly in and make a performance. I guess it totally blew......... her voice kept cracking and she could barely carry a note. Most attributed this to the demise of her marriage......I just attribute this to the fact that she wouldn't know how to sing if a Grammy smacked her in the face. I don't know about you but I've seen enough drag queens to make me feel awfully suspect about Miss Collagen lips over here.
Funny...when you type in Kim Stewart on Yahoo News nothing comes up for her. I guess it takes an engagement to a high school reality star to get any press on the bitch. Ask Kimmie what anarchy means because she has no idea.
My fellow blogger Cat.lebrity has discovered Nicole Richie's long lost twin and no it's not her left pinkie. Hey... at least she's getting good blockage from the sun.
Britney Spears has been consulting with a team of divorce lawyers because of the problems in her marriage. Funny...... normally when there are problems in a marriage people consult therapists but I guess you might as well skip over anything that might make this marriage last longer. Spears flew to Vegas without Kevin for her birthday however, Kevin showed up last night, wifebeater in tow. Since free loading off Britney is failing, K-Fed says "Hell I'll just free load off the rest of her family members".
It's a good thing fellow blogger Perez Hilton has become a D-list celebrity because now we can get the real scoop on the life of Paris Hilton. Hilton claims that the police did not confiscate her monkey Baby Luv, but she is going to send it off to a ranch.Paris is almost done recording her album and according to Perez, it sounds good.Paris and Stavros are still together and Paris Latsis even approves of the relationship. Paris Latsis is not dating Tara Reid and is not interested in her at all. Umm Perez...if you keep hanging out with Hilton and posse, your blog is going to get really boring. I guess they celebrate Halloween late in California. It's good to see that Stavros is still an idiot. Thank god she still owns that monkey. I've been worried sick about it. Pictures via who else but Perez Hilton.
Lindsay Lohan landed VH1's "It Girl" award at the Big in 05 awards ceremony. Is "It Girl" the secret code name for biggest piece of shit? Don't you know that engagement rings are totally out of style this week, Lohan
Jessica Simpson is finding comfort in another man's arms after her recent split with hubby NickLachey. Simpson has turned to Johnny Knoxville, who she met while filming the movie Dukes of Hazard. Although Johnny is married, the star has been one Jessica's most supportive friends....................and by supportive I mean that he's totally banging her now. Tights under a dress...............how Mary Kate of you. Is that a purse she's carrying or some sort of fancy mop. I'm surprised Nick fits into that trunk. Photos via the JJB.......hotness
City Rag accuses Madonna of stealing the look of Kiss. Socialite Life tells us how Cameron Diaz lures JT with food. Hollywood Tuna tells us why bald women shouldn't smoke. Loose Lips quotes Kayne West as not being gay. Hello Inspector Gadget, where's your hat?
Who the hell gave this awards show the gross pass? VH1's Big in 05 was like watching a bunch ofanorexic, overly tanned twits run around and do circus tricks.Thankfully most of these people will be in rehab by the time Big in 06 rolls around. Looks like Lohan made sure she took her nasty pills before the show. Every award show needs a little Bobby Brown. If there wasn't, there wouldn't be any drugs to pass around. You sure you know what you got yourself into dude? She may be rich but classy she ain't. I think Carmine's kinda hot in a "I rolled around in a tub of grease" kind of way. I like how the Hulk won't let his daughter date........ but dressing up like a slut?... It's totally fine.... in fact encouraged....especially at televised award shows. I love the new lips your Dad bought you. Did he get his done too?
After Britney Spears had her husband's Ferrari towed, the pop princess flew to Vegas with friends and family for 24th birthday. Mr. Federline was not invited to the party. Spears has reportedly kicked Federline out of their home and is wearing a skull and crossbones ring in place of her wedding band. Is it safe to say the marriage is over? Oh yeah....golfing with my Dad totally fixed my marriage as well.
Brad Pitt is in the process of adopting Angelina Jolie's kids. The kids will take on the last name Jolie-Pitt. I seriously have got to look into these two adopting me. Forget the screwy hyphenated last name.......having them as your parents is like discovering an oil field. Can you imagine what Christmas is going to be like this year? Forget socks and boardgames........your getting your own yacht and beach house in Mailbu. What are these two doing now? They had better not be trying to smuggle any new children in those bags.
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