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When most Hollywood celebs file for divorce they begin dating other divorced celebrities but when D-list celebs get divorced they rebound by dating blue collar workers. Either way, not a winning situation Einsteins. Christina Applegate is quickly moving on after filing for divorce from her husband of seven years by dating an Alaskan fisherman. Just because your a seafood lover doesn't mean you date the dude that catches your dinner. I like Starbucks and poker but you don't see me dating Ben Affleck do you? Okay maybe I don't date Ben Affleck because he's married to Jen Garner but as soon as he gets divorced, I'm not going there. I have nothing to say about this picture but figured we needed a blast from the past.
There are a couple of things in life that you can consider bad ideas. Amongst sleeping with your brother, putting windex in your dog's water bowl and burning down the Starbucks in Mary Kate Olsen's neighborhood, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline having a second child ranks first on the not so much list. Brit Brit is apparently dying to have another child to help fix her rocky marriage. Hmmm....yes another child will surely grab Kevin's attention and fix the marriage right up. Hey Britney....Shar Jackson is on the phone.........she says I told you so. Are they going to fit my ass ya'll?
Cityrag has gross Tom Cruise pictures. Egotastic claims Paris Hilton ordered crabs for dinner. Gossip or Truth says that Gwyneth Paltrow wants boobs. The Bosh got invited to Eminem's remarriage. Hollywood Tuna impregnated Naomi Watts? I guess she returned the bathing suit cover-up to the store to buy the smokes. Picture scammed off the JJB
Jessica Simpson is ready move on from the demise of her marriage. The star recently purchased a $3 million dollar Beverly Hills mansion. "She's happy to have a house that's hers," someone close to the pop star tells PEOPLE. "This is the first time she's making her own decisions." When was Papa Joe's funeral because I wasn't made aware of his death?Oh who am I kidding....Papa Joe has been so wrapped up performing mouth to mouth on sickly Ashlee he hardly has time to make decisions about his first lover....er I meant daughter. I hope Nick's side of the story involves strippers and prostitutes.
Isn't it ironic that Ron Jeremy showed up in Hawaii to give Paris sex tips on the beach. And yes I know that's Brandon Davis's fat brother but Ron Jeremy sounded way better.
For reals.....there is no good reason to leave your house for New Year's Eve cuz Kevy be dropping his single on Yahoo music as the ball drops at midnight. Shit bitch...I ain't gots to get a DJ for my party or nothing. Yes this is actually going to happen and no I'm not making this one up this time, all of this via KevinFederline.com. Yeah it makes Tara Reid look like she went to Harvard but hey at least we'll stay informed. Clearly a confusing picture but I'm going to assume that it's someone else's bank card.
It looks like Donna Martin is going to have wedding numero deuce. Tori Spelling got engaged over the holiday weekend to the old guy she was screwing while still married to husband number one. Papa Spelling congratulated the couple by swiftly sending over an engagement gift of a big fat pre-nup. Spelling's friends say that Tori simply couldn't help falling in love with her new beau and never meant to hurt anyone. Isn't that kind of like saying I never meant to get herpes so it's not my fault I gave them to you? That Tori is too smart for me. Maybe he doesn't like her for the money...............it's just all that hooker sex he's getting.
Page Six wants to know if Kate Bosworth and Orlando Bloom are getting married soon. Hmm... and I want to know if JC Chasez is coming out with a new solo album this winter. Please find out Page Six oh pleaseeeee. Okay I didn't know that anyone actually cared about Kate Bosworth and Orlando Bloom. I mean maybe you care if you liked the movies Blue Crush and Win a Date with Tad Hamilton but marriage gossip about those two leads me to want to chug a bottle of NyQuil, pour myself a tall glass of bourbon and watch Pirates of the Caribbean with my clothes off. Okay maybe chugging the bottle of NyQuil is a bit much........I'll just sip it. I didn't realize that Jude Law was loaning out his scarf collection to Orlando.
My mom taught me several things when I was kid. Aside from not putting firecrackers in my cats ass and not stealing my neighbors mail, the one thing that truly stands out is not wearing my pajamas while roaming around outside in Aspen.If your going to run around town with your gigilo boyfriend in your pj's, at least throw a fur coat over that shit. Does Juicy make those Mr. Ed pajamas?
Upon briefly glancing at the title of this article, I thought it said Don Johnson is dead at 56. Seems alot more appropriate than getting somebody knocked up. By the time that kid is twelve, reruns of Miami Vice aren't even going to be cool anymore. Heyyyyy....you got your eyebrows waxed for Christmas.
If this isn't enought to ruin your Holiday, try this............... Booby Trendy.....or opps I meant Bobby Trendy. Shouldn't he have died already from some Trimspa overdose or is Anna Nicole the only one who takes that shit.
Apparently Santa Claus did not bring Eva Longoria the gift of class and tact this Christmas, as Eva had a nasty argument with a police officer early Christmas morning. The officer claims that Longoria was rude and made racial slurs at him. Longoria's publicist denies these claims....................and if you're not down with a publicist speaking for you..... that pretty much means that Longoria did it. A sucker for a sucker.
Kathy and Rick Hilton took their children to Hawaii for Christmas. Okay next year remind me to act like a whoring slut who fucks everyone in sight and maybe my parents will take me to Hawaii. Yeah Paris your boobs are still there.
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